INTUITION
For a long time, I didn’t know how to tap into my intuition. I felt like I was exempt from this inner guide, this sense that so many others had. I didn’t even know where to begin to access it.
Many of us were brought up in a culture that prompted us to look outside of ourselves for answers. The age of the guru. It was implied that we seek out the advice of our doctors, religious + political leaders, parents, teachers, etc. and internalize what they said as fact. Once we inhaled certain thoughts/ beliefs from the external, they became part of the programming that prompted our actions, the lens we saw the world through, the inner voice that told us what we should do in any given moment.
This culture was based on a hierarchical model where the inner guidance of individuals were squelched as they threatened the status of the guru. The people that I was looking to/ modeling myself after were operating from this linear, rational way of thinking. Black + white, good or bad, right or wrong. When you notice yourself thinking in this way, it’s a pretty good indicator that you are NOT open to your inner guide.
Not only has the collective not supported the cultivation of our inner guidance, but the rise in technology has actually moved us away from it as well. Information overload. With all of the positive benefits faster technology brings, it has also brought more mind clutter, dulled brain, a sense of needing to do everything yesterday. We have access to millions of people, their opinions + their lives with the tap of a just a few keystrokes. We can lose ourselves completely in other people’s worlds… moving us away from our innate intuitive abilities.
HOW do we move towards the inner guru? HOW do we tap into our own inner guidance? And WHY is it necessary?
When I first started teaching yoga, leading retreats + speaking in front of people, I would plan out exactly what I was going to say each time. I would stick to the plan rigidly and it worked for awhile. It helped me to stay on track and make sure I was conveying what I wanted to. However, after time, I found when I allowed myself space to see what wanted to come through, more people would come up to me and share “that is exactly what I’m experiencing right now”, “It was as if you were speaking directly to me”, “I literally had this question in my head yesterday”. By trusting that there was a larger part that “knew” better than the human, ego-driven me, it opened up a whole new experience for both me + my clients/ students.
The times we are living in are asking for us to develop our own inner guide. When we listen within, we fall into alignment with our individual purpose, with the gift that only we can share with the world. When we step into this space in ourselves, it vibrationally sets the tone for others to fall in alignment with their own inner guide as well.
I’ll share a few practices that I’ve found valuable, but first… I want to make a few statements that might de-bunk some classic misnomers about intuition.
- Intuition is not just relegated to a few… we ALL have it (women AND men)
- It is a sense, like hearing or seeing, that can be developed and refined
- Intuition doesn’t only have one way that it shows up
- Information that comes through right brain perception can come in strange ways
- It is quieter than our emotional drama or reactive thoughts
- At first we might not understand or know how to see it, so we can dismiss it
- We don’t receive all of the picture with intuition, mostly just the next step or a few steps ahead
Some of the ways intuition can come through… hearing a clear inner voice, feeling body signals (ex: goosebumps or butterflies), seeing signs, symbols (ex:repeating phrases, numbers), the natural world (ex: animals showing up at certain times), through journaling, direct inner knowing, visions, flashes or dreams, smell (ex: whiff of familiar makes you choose certain experience), taste (bad taste in mouth directs you away from), synchronicities + coincidence.
Practices to heighten intuition:
- Create space in your day + mind. We have 80-90K thoughts per day and the majority of them are the same thoughts we had yesterday + the day before. As we are inundated with noise from news, media, Netflix, podcasts, advertising, societal + familial conditioning, etc., many thoughts that aren’t even ours bounce around in our sphere. Thoughts can be loud and that’s a lot of clamoring going on inside. Intuition and inner guidance is softer + more subtle. If we don’t create space, we will have a hard time accessing it.
- meditate
- sensitize your body to tap into its signals (ex: yoga, tai chi, walking in nature, mindfulness practice – being present with + tracking sensations)
- when you receive an intuitive hit, a gut feeling or an a-ha, speak it out loud to yourself or someone else. Does it resonate? Do you feel expansive or contracted? This is a great way to see whether it is coming from inner guidance or ego.
- art, listen to music, play, record your dreams, dance
- do exercises where your limbs cross the centerline of your body (helps turn on both sides of the brain)
- practice trusting + following your intuition. The more you follow it, the more it will show up.
Developing + following your intuition requires courage.
Courage to make different decisions. Many times it guides us AWAY from the status quo or societal/ familial programming inside. Our minds can freak out at this. Our higher self, deeper wisdom, intuition WANTS us to GROW, wants us to live in more alignment with our soul or higher self. It invites us to look truly and authentically at our circumstances and make choices that support this growth.
If you’re wanting to explore this topic further, I recommend The Intuitive Way, The Psychic Pathway or Second Sight. Good luck!
COMMUNITY
Who do you consider your community, your tribe? Who are the people you choose to surround yourself with?
Why do so many of us stay in friendships and relationships that we outgrow?
Do not simply CUT + RUN.
Indicators that it might be time to shift or let go of a relationship:
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friends getting angry or upset if you haven’t shared every detail of your life with them
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feeling drained every time you are in contact
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noticing yourself feeling resentful or getting together out of obligation
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a repeated nagging feeling that the person is not able to hold it when things go well for you
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having outgrown the thread that holds you together – shared unhealthy habit (ie, drinking, eating sugar, partying, drugs, complaining, etc.)
What to try before you completely step out of a relationship:
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create some space for yourself to get clear on what your patterns + habits are (when you would normally reach out, pause)
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journal about what being a friend means to you. what are your expectations?
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if you feel depleted after hanging out, give it a good amount of tries (they could be going through shift or you could or simply having a bad month or 2)
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create space for you in your calendar. Book dates with yourself – an hour to read, going to dinner, spending time in nature etc. – and hold these times sacred so you can develop your relationship with yourself
If after all this, you are ready to step away, do so as gracefully as possible:
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start extending the length of time in between calls/ friend dates
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instead of immediately saying yes out of obligation, practice making a date in the future (ex: I am busy this month, but let’s put something on the calendar for next month)
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remember you are an adult + do not have to explain why you are not available
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be kind
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remember that we are all learning + growing at different rates and just because you’ve outgrown something you once shared does not mean you are ahead or better than, you have simply grown apart.
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notice when you are making up a story of them being in the wrong simply because it’s hard to admit that you’ve outgrown each other.
As you clear space, a great practice is to list out what friendships you are wanting to bring into your life… ones that support on certain levels, specific types of collaboration, opportunities to show up fully as your messy self. Check in with you + remember it might be different than you’ve ever desired before. This is what the process of life brings… continual opportunities to refine and expand our spheres, to access new parts of ourselves + show up fully.
FOUNDATION
Happy New Year!
And then, I went home for a week.
When we consciously choose to work with an energy, we get all of it.
Foundation building AND foundation clearing. Shadow AND light. Always both ends of the spectrum and everything in between.
Once we commit to setting structures into place, then we actually have to DO the work.
This is where the “non-sexy” stuff comes in. How do you keep yourself going when it’s not feeling enjoyable? This has been an issue for me in the past as I tend to be more inspired by creativity and sometimes have a hard time bringing my creative thoughts into physical form.
If you would like support in putting structures + foundations in place, in uncovering your WHY and manifesting your dreams, in finding self-care practices that support you, schedule a FREE CALL with me where we can see if we’re a good fit to work together.
unconditional love
this is different than the love many of us have been taught
it feels cold at first.
But, it’s simply the absence of expectation, drama and old storylines.
To walk through the world with love,
We must love ourselves first,
UNCONDITIONALLY
What does this mean?
Look at all the shadows that are offering themselves up.
How do I do this, you ask?
See who triggers you… who you are judging… they represent a part of yourself that you haven’t owned.
Right now, we’re in a time of deep shadow excavating.
When you feel the small mean voices start in your head, turned towards you or someone else,
Love these parts.
Listen to them as you would a child. Don’t make them wrong or bad. Don’t stuff them down or resist them. Don’t argue with them. Simply listen to them. And, then kindly share with them that you understand AND you are choosing to feed different voices.
Breathe.
Tend to all the parts of yourself that you would ignore. Instead of running from your fears, name them. List them out on a piece of paper until you run out of space. Bring them up + out into the open.
Once they are there, thank them for the space they held that is now open + free. Make friends with them so they don’t rule your actions through shadow.
Breathe.
This is the work of the courageous warrior of these times.
As you practice, one step at a time, you will begin to know what it is to love yourself unconditionally.
And only then… can you love someone so fiercely that you trust they can take care of their own evolution? Can you be present as they make their own choices and walk their own path?
And remember that the only person you are responsible for saving is yourself?
It bears repeating:
The only person you are responsible for saving is yourself.
This does not absolve us of responsibility.
It is actually the most responsible thing we can do… commit 100% to our own growth, the thoughts we feed, our feelings, our actions, the words we speak.
One of the biggest gifts we bring to the world is our own transformation.
It affects others.
Profoundly.
Do not discount this.
receive woman receive
Sitting in a circle of women this weekend, the big topic of receiving came up. How important it is to receive and how many of us women feel more comfortable giving than receiving… or have internalized this as the only acceptable way to show up. The feminine is compassionate, kind, gentle… think Mother Mary or Kwan Yin. Yes, she is all this AND that is only a tiny piece of her puzzle.
Can you relate?
“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance” – Oscar Wilde
trust in your unfolding…
Butterfly. Totem. Transformation. Not a sweet totem as one would think. The courage it requires to become the butterfly… total annihilation of self one once was, form one once was… into something new and unexpected. No way of knowing what comes next, believing you are dying, again + again. When it’s just the parts of self that have outgrown their forms… And so much brilliance awaits. The butterfly has to cultivate a ridiculous amount of FAITH.
It is the feminine way, the way of the darkness, of trusting in the unknown, of allowing oneself to be led without knowing where one is going. Unlike the mythical Phoenix, who bursts into flames before being reborn. Or the snake who sheds it’s skin, caterpillar wraps itself in a cocoon and goes inside. It literally melts from the inside completely. Fluid, liquid, dark, feminine.
This has been my life’s path. I see butterflies everywhere… I see them when they are not supposed to be around… flying on the beach next to me in the dead of winter, in the fall forest when it’s cold + no leaves remain on the trees, in the middle of the desert at the end of my vision quest, 3 of them flying into the center of the tribal circle as soon as I sit down and start speaking, looking in my window while I’m sitting on a plane, when I drive my car through the city… everywhere.
They speak to me. When I ask for a sign, when I’m at my wits end, they show up. I am grateful… they help me keep my faith in the way I live… in continuing to move forward, having been shown only one tiny part of the next move… I can take one more step and trust that I will be shown the next… and the next… and the next.
One of my ex’s used to tease me when I continually looked up the meaning of animals as I came across them. He would say, do you think every ant that crosses your path is here to bring you a message? I would loudly insist YES!
There are periods of creativity that I go through where red cardinal shows up. Several literally flying right in front of my car at different points in the same day. I have been bitten by spiders during times of great transition so often that it cannot be mere coincidence. Songs play with words that answer the question I moments before posed to the Universe… or I’ll drive by a car with a vanity plate that answers. As the world I have known continues to crumble from the form it once was, I find refuge and solace in these messages from beyond. I turn towards them.
The world around us is constantly sending us signals, signs, messages + more. We interpret them through the forms we carry… friend, woman, daughter, teacher, scientist, executive, athlete, man, etc. and the filters we carry… pro-life, democrat, Catholic, Buddhist, sweet one, perfectionist, the good son, etc. In other words, our masks + our beliefs. Our brains bend reality to prove what we already believe. They use our beliefs + our masks as a way of filtering the massive amounts of data that we receive every second. They prove us right. Kind of like the alogarhythms of FB.
Yet, the Universal signs we receive entice us to step outside of these preconceived notions, these boxes we’ve put ourselves in. They come in ways that don’t always make sense… animals, repeating numbers, hearing the same thing several times, synchronicity, dejavu, goosebumps, messages from random strangers, etc. They point to something greater than these small forms. Something that seems like magic to the ordinary brain. They are the windows into the mystery, the unknown, the non-physical realm, the field or matrix, the web of interconnection that surrounds us. They whisper… everything is connected…you are more than simply this physical body, these beliefs lived for a human lifetime, the masks that you wear…there is a Divine order and it has a sense of humor…life doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you…trust… have faith… believe even when it is tough, especially when it is tough, that you are not alone. Keep showing up. Tear off your masks and keep showing up.
Many times, when I’m at a crossroads, I’ll ask for a sign and the butterflies show up. I feel courage + trust and I take one step towards that which scares me. Or while sitting with my grief or pain, I see the butterflies and feel the expansive nature of my soul. I trust that I am held + can feel the feelings and be with even this. Or when I just have no idea which way is up, they are there and I am reminded of the FAITH I have in humanity, in myself. I am reminded of the TRUST I have that there is something great that is happening in the midst of all this shadow material we are dealing with individually and collectively.
It is easy to get caught up in this world’s fast pace…to allow the beliefs + masks to form a barrier to true connection… to give ourselves a hard time because we feel as if we aren’t where we should be… to compare ourselves to what we see in social feed… to turn against one another… to stay small + isolate ourselves… This is the well worn way. The way that has the strong pull of the collective. Especially right now when FEAR is the go-to.
To step off this path, we must look for our signs + summon up the courage to follow them.
Become curious… is there an animal you keep seeing, a word that you hear several times that is plastered across the truck driving by, the same number over and over, goosebumps when someone speaks the truth, someone who keeps coming across your path? If not, try taking a rest from filling your time with news + podcasts + social media + video games + Netflix + busy-ness. Give yourself some space to look around the natural world. Be in silence for a few minutes several times a day. It will come.
And when it does, pay attention. Start a notebook, record your dreams. Invite in magic. Peer into the abyss of the unknown. Ask the Divine a question and be open to the way it responds…. it most likely will not be logical or linear. But it will respond. It will nudge you in the direction of your own unfolding one step at a time. And the more you pay attention to it, the more it will reveal to you.
And, from these butterfly wings + breadcrumbs, you will start to find your way. You will start to feel your inner guide. You will find your way back to who you came here to be and remember your own brilliance. You will speak your truth. You will remember we are all connected. You will be kind to yourself. And from this place, as we all find our way back, one by one, we will heal this world we are living in.
honoring our rhythms…
A month ago, I led a retreat. One of the things we talked about was how we, as women, as humans, are connected to nature & connected to the cosmos, not separate from it (as our modern world would try to convince us of). Similar to the seasons of nature, the phases of the moon, the orbits of the planets, we too have cycles of up and down, in and out, light and dark. As I share often, I fight my cycles… make myself wrong for needing/ wanting down time. Must do more. Must be productive all the time. Must constantly be working on my business and what I do in the world. Must be producing. Must be DOING.
Whew. It’s tiring to live from this place.
I end up spinning in unproductive circles in my head, acting from fear instead of being guided from within. Which is even more tiring. One of the things I teach – the importance of taking sacred pause – is also what I must learn over and over again in my own life.
While preparing for this past retreat, I honored my cycles in a way I have not prior to a big event before… I gave myself plenty of space in between times of preparing to pause, to enjoy life. I was dedicated to my own self-care as I prepared to guide a group of women through their own self-care: massage, yoga, self-reflection, meditation, time in nature (all the “simple” practices I’m constantly writing about).
At the same time, I was also stepping outside of my comfort zone – reaching out to colleagues and friends to promote for me, marketing in a more visible way than ever before, scrapping the material I had planned 3 weeks prior to the event and re-doing it.
It paid off, this integrated way of being in my busy time (expanding even!) while also taking care of myself… the retreat was transformative, healing & enjoyable… AND I didn’t feel physically depleted. Upon return, I intended to take a couple of days off and get back to it – creating content, marketing my next women’s circle, collaborating, etc.
My surprise came when I realized another cycle was starting for me… one that I needed to deeply honor as well and not by “doing” outward moving life at the same time. It was a deeply inward moving cycle… one where the personal a-ha’s were plentiful, and full of much “ouch”. It lasted a few weeks which were filled with: sleeping (the deep, processing type where you wake up and feel like you were fighting for your life before you dive back in), self loathing, tears, escaping to the mountains, sleeping, being so gentle & kind with myself, did I mention sleeping?!, self-forgiveness, and many moments of awkwardly being in the world stripped of another layer of defense…
After a lot of expansion in our lives, there is a natural contraction that happens. When we inhale, we must exhale. It is part of the cycle.
The contraction lasts longer if I fight it. And, boy do I. The way my mind fights it is by convincing me that I’m not doing anything. I start resisting what is actually happening and convincing myself that I need to be somewhere else. Fortunately, a mentor pointed out to me that the inner work is “doing” a lot. Showing up and being in the messy human part of life without running away, seeing clearly where I’ve been running patterns that have ultimately hurt myself or others, seeing where I’ve thought I was better than others or acted out because of the belief that I was not worthy… the work of looking at these things as they come up and kindly, gently reminding myself that I did the best I could at the time with the tools I had. This is hard work for me, this being human… and making mistakes… and admitting to them… and loving myself through it all.
As I come up out of it at this time, I see that actually there was also much that happened naturally – a few collaborations have been formed and new projects started, the women’s circle already has several participants signed up, in meditation, I can feel the wisps of content that is in there wanting to be written when the timing is right, some areas in my life where I have completely ignored my own boundaries have been course corrected.
My life is unfolding and I am trying to flow with it, not to fight it, to accept this moment now… not to force it, to simply BE the witness… it’s an art… and not one that seems to be promoted in the mainstream. The dance of honoring our cycles, our rhythms, of opening up to the unfoldment of our lives. Of letting go of the tight grip on the reigns and TRUSTING that we will know when to slow down or speed up. And of simplifying. I feel myself coming up into the light and want to run & jump & over-commit. Instead, I breathe and observe this too.
Two beautifully written books that have helped me: Sabbath by Wayne Muller & Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. They both stress the importance of honoring our cycles and spending time in stillness, space & quiet as a necessity vs a luxury.
And, of course, I couldn’t do this life thing without my team of support. Part of my self-care is to see them continuously, NOT only when in crisis mode. Over time, this has built a foundation for me to firmly stand on when I find myself in another cycle or when I step off the crazy merry-go-round of 24/7 productivity. We humans are full of rhythms, of cycles, just like nature, and if we don’t honor them, we will move further away from the things we most crave – integration, balance & a rich, meaningful life. Much love to you wherever you are in your cycle. Be kind to yourself.
let go & begin again…
Letting go. More layers. Amazed at how much this process of emerging/ becoming/ self realizing is about letting go. Catch & release. Unearth & release. Enjoy & release. Resist, fight & finally surrender. Let more go.
This was important, well now it’s not. These were your ideas, well now they’re not. You believed this, now release it. It seems the leading up to is harder than the actual moments of letting go. The fears – who will I be without this mask, who will I be without that friend, who will I be without that belief to swing around like a sword, who will I be when all the layers fall away?
I have been building these muscles for quite awhile. My own process of letting go started consciously 15 years ago with the beginning of my first divorce. Who was I if I wasn’t a wife? Who was I if I wasn’t living in this house in the suburbs pretending that I knew what I was doing? Who was I if I actually listened to this voice deep inside that whispered loudly “LEAVE”? I did leave and it was a very painful time. While I let go of some of the masks I had been wearing, I didn’t know how to look at many of the feelings that were coming up so I buried them deep inside.
Spirit gave me the opportunity to let go more a few years later when I got married & divorced for a second time. Who am I if I’m not part of a couple, a team? Who am I if I’m not telling someone else how they can become better? This led me to 2 years of not dating and the discovery of a thread that led to answering these very questions later. Who am I without my possessions? I left a large part of my physical stuff with him and the house we so lovingly poured our combined effort into. I started to see the correlation between physical stuff and the clutter inside of me. And how the physical stuff was many times a representation of the boxes I was holding myself in & identifying with.
The next major letting go came when I left my “successful” corporate career. Who am I if I don’t have a business card or a title? Who am I without the glorification of busy – needing to check my Blackberry several times a minute to respond immediately to the television stations and advertisers needs? It took me the better part of 2 years to stop answering the question of what do you do with, “well, I was in advertising for 15 years until recently…”.
Since then, I’ve had more opportunities to let go than I can even list – my house that was not affordable on a yoga teachers salary, ideas about what healthy is, so many people & relationships that have outgrown their forms, a business partnership that was no longer in alignment with my values, groups I’ve been part of, furniture, clothes & loads of physical stuff – I’m down to what can fit in a 10X15 storage unit, ideas of what successful really means, beliefs of what it means to be a daughter, and on & on.
Why do we cling so tightly to our identifications?
When we finish grade school, we know that it’s natural to move on to high school. Why do we assign different meaning to people, groups & experiences in our adult lives? We throw the expectations of our child self onto them… you are my friend, so you owe me your undivided loyalty… you are my leader or my church, so you must be perfect… you are my partner, so you must never leave me for your own life… you are an object that brings me much joy, so I must cling tightly to you…
All of these things we hold onto become the cage of comfort that we lock ourselves in, the boxes that we tightly wedge into to feel as if we have control over our lives. Eventually, we hear that voice inside saying “LEAVE”. We fight it, make up excuses, forget that we have the key in our pocket. All that fighting eventually gives way to surrender if we are lucky… weary of the internal battles, we throw ourselves on the floor begging for something different.
Surrender has become one of my spiritual practices.
I’ve come to understand that this process DOES get easier and it is a natural part of living a fully integrated life. Just like we lift weights to build our physical muscles, we can let go several times a day to build our muscles of detachment. Each time we do this, we peel another layer off and allow more of the essence of who we are to show up. This part of us is brilliantly divine and a gift to the world. When we tap into it, we start to align with our purpose and what we came here to do.
These times of change are supporting us in each doing our individual work to clear, to let go.
What can you work with today? Start with something small & physical. Clean out your junk drawer. Clean out your closet and donate to charity. Then move on to something more. Clean out your head by journaling – write 2 pages each morning for 3 weeks before you do anything else. Don’t edit or judge, just write. These muscles will strengthen. You’ll start to remind yourself of where you hid the key to your cage… and maybe set yourself free to begin again.
wild pendulum swings & energy management…
I LOVE THE FALL! This time of the year, I tend to find an internal burst of fresh energy. Something about this particular change of season that really works well with my constitution. Interestingly, this year, I know the boost of energy isn’t just from the switch of seasons.
It has a different quality to it, a smooth, steady and sustainable feeling vs a quick, take advantage of this before it disappears feeling. This year, I’m actually ENJOYING my life more AND I’m working harder than I have in quite awhile.
The work I’ve been doing is personal & purpose related… unearthing long buried fears and not stuffing them back down, looking clearly at patterns that don’t serve me anymore, consciously choosing not to pick them up when they are offered as an option, delving deeply into my business, walking the path of the entrepreneur and all the opportunities that provides for growth. It continues to require a lot of courage.
My ego would have me believe that it requires too much energy to shift the old patterns and why don’t I just walk through life how I’ve always walked through – wildly swinging from one extreme to the next, milking the high energy so much that the lows are really low. Thank you very much ego, however I am now living from a place of detachment (and I do not mean coldness… I mean, not getting sucked into my own drama).
It takes even more energy to be:
- attached to my own stories – this is how the world is – people aren’t to be trusted
- attached to other peoples stories – I’ll avoid looking inside if I can help you with your problems
- living in the coping patterns I developed as a child -adrenaline junkie anyone? procrastinating until the last minute because “I work better under pressure” – holding myself to unrealistic, made up standards that I think everyone expects me to meet
During periods of shift in our lives, management of energy is crucial if we are to align with our higher selves & move into the newer, healthier, more sustainable way of living. We are in the midst of a paradigm shift, DEEP change on a collective level that is also affecting us individually. If we work with our own energy, we can better be able to support the collective shift happening in a conscious way.
Some of my tips in managing wild pendulum swings:
- Stop energy leakage – get really clear on what drains energy and what adds to it – stop saying yes to everything & everyone.
- Let go of worrying about what other people think when you put yourself and your passion/ purpose first (this takes much practice to master)
- Learn your body’s signals for YES & NO – when my body says no, I take it seriously & stop what I’m doing even if my brain is still pushing me to move ahead (just one more task off the list, email, phone call, etc.).
- Put structures into place that work – for me, it means scheduling TO-DO tasks AND also playful tasks – like watching an episode of my favorite show on my computer, taking an hour long walk at the park in the middle of the day, or having Saturday mornings off, no technology. If I only do the TO-DO tasks, I fall out of balance & start to self-sabatogue by binging on the other end and am in a wild swing before I know it.
- BUILD LOTS OF SPACE – daily, weekly & especially around important energy expenditures (milestones, big events, personal & professional).
- Do something completely new that you are not skilled at – this prevents me from holding myself to those ridiculously high standards and helps me to find my sense of humor… I also make a complete fool of myself on a regular basis.
- Build the plane as you fly it – prepare, prepare again & then let go and trust you’ve got it.
- See that both the lows AND the highs bring gifts – when I stop fighting the lows, they become richer and I move through with a deep appreciation for the human & the divine in me.
- Practice gratitude & kindness – treating myself as precious, pausing to put hand on my heart & breath in the good times AND the bad, helps me to integrate it all.
I wouldn’t be where I am now without my many mentors & guides who have helped me in learning to recognize when I’m caught “in it” and how to cultivate my own discernment/ zoom out lens for fresh perspective.
I also wouldn’t be here without an unwavering commitment to myself and taking 100% responsibility for my life. This is where the foundational practices of meditation, yoga, self-care, self-love & kindness, sitting with & breathing have been invaluable. It takes 21 days to change a habit – many times in the shifting of one habit, we see the threads of other habits that are intertwined with that one.
When navigating the waters of transformation, oh, such as releasing a lifetime of deeply embedded pendulum swinging patterns, it takes a bit more time & a few more threads to unravel…
If you’re feeling overwhelmed in this task, schedule a free 20 minute discovery session with me to see if working together is a fit.
fear, courage, action…
This path requires courage. This path of stepping out of the boxes we’ve put ourselves in… for whatever reasons – to please others, to win approval, to fit in, because being “this way” is what you’re supposed to do, because we didn’t have any other way modeled for us, because it’s easier to be part of the herd, etc.
I have been through massive change in my life. Upon recent reflection, I realize much has been required of me to continually step forward. One of my mentors recently stated that 80% of success (however you define that word) is based on the ability and willingness to not only step outside of your comfort zone but to also sit with what comes up when you do that. I’ve heard this in many different iterations before and recently re-committed to doing just this.
Do my inner voices quiet? No, actually they get much louder. A few examples “you are not intelligent”, “you will be alone if you do this”, “no one will like you”, “you should be ashamed of yourself for wanting to be seen”, “you don’t know what you’re doing”, “you are not good enough”, “nobody cares what you have to say”, “it’s not perfect, so you should wait to do it until it is”, “later is better”, and on & on.
Maybe you can relate to some of these. The way my particular structure works is that one of these voices will show up and I’ll either feel an immense amount of shame within me or I’ll get fuzzy and go a bit unconscious. The shame many times derails, sending me right back to my comfort zone with my tail between my legs. The fuzzy sensation causes me to step into habitual patterns that I do without thinking, such as distract myself: phone a friend, eat, find something unrelated to do, spin my wheels, gravitate towards tasks that are not important, etc.
So how does one step forward in the face of this internal barrage? This is where the courage comes in. I first feel the shame. I notice it and kindly say “oh, there you are”. Then I breathe with it until it passes. It’s taken some foundation setting & shadow excavating to separate enough to be able to see it and not be swept away by it.
I remind myself of the way I want to feel and the life I want to live – in alignment with my highest self, in integrity with my truth & joyfully serving the greatest good. If the voices/ shame/ fuzziness are particularly strong, I will incorporate the self care techniques that I’ve cultivated yet need to be reminded of again & again – journaling with the fears, giving them space, meditation, breathing slowly, yoga, touching my heart, reaching out to my support team or stepping out into nature – to name a few.
Then action. Moving through the fear by taking a step outside of that circle of comfort. I practice this every day – it’s like building a muscle. The more I practice, the more I realize how moving through our greatest fears can yield the most delicious abundance & gifts along the path. Large amounts of energy are freed from the fear, the boundaries & boxes, the walls of separation. Energy that can be repurposed towards living the life that is possible for each & every one of us. More synchronicities show up & I start living once again in the flow, realizing intimate connection to the greater whole.
Some of my personal action examples as of late… sharing my fears and challenges with others, stepping out of a commitment with a friend to take care of myself, saying no to an offer to teach at a new studio though the “should’s” were screaming in my head, posting on Facebook, having a business conversation standing up for myself and what I paid for, showing up to teach with no idea of what I’m going to say, writing this blog, being honest with someone while understanding they might not like me for it, openly considering another person’s point of view that I don’t agree with, being honest with myself, sitting with my resistance and letting it exist without closing my mind, walking up to someone my inner critic deems as “super intelligent” at a party last night and initiating conversation, the list goes on…
What is one thing you can do today that stretches you a tiny bit? Can you step through a small fear? Do it. It will most likely sting and you will see all of your “stuff” come up. However, you’ll start to cultivate an inner awareness that is crucial to expansion, you’ll start building examples that prove that what is on the other side is so worth it… living to the fullest potential possible, you’ll create the life you dream of right now in this present moment, not in some far distant “later”. You got this, you got it, fear, courage, action – GO!