personal retreat…

Posted by on Aug 8, 2016

Amazing how it happens over and over, the forgetting of my light. As soon as I forget, I fall out of “the flow” – that feeling of everything sailing along, synchronicity after synchronicity happening with my delight in the forefront. A detached compassion for the ups and downs and even a chuckle sometimes when I stumble.

I went on a personal retreat recently. A mentor taught on Walking the Path of the Initiate. Beautiful. It’s been awhile since I’ve gone on a retreat of this nature, where there is space built in for nourishment as well as an intention toward growth & self-awareness. I was yet again reminded of how absolutely essential personal retreat is for me. The yin (being) is so crucial to balance the yang (doing). And I must fill up again to walk through my life with awareness vs being run by old patterns and fears.

Yet what about daily life? What about when I crash out of the flow and wonder what the heck just happened? When it feels like I’m running into door after door and not being so nice to myself when I do. Just the other day sitting at my desk for 5 hours, my shoulders up to my ears, not breathing and banging away at the key pad, 400 things on my to-do list, will I ever complete my tasks?!

WAIT, that’s the old way, part of the old paradigm that I subscribed to much of my life. I remember using the saying “no pain, no gain” to motivate myself in those times. I CHOOSE not to live this way anymore. How to find my way back to the flow? Well, I can tell you, it’s not through doing, it’s not through pushing, it’s not through “figuring it out”.

It’s through waiting, pausing, breathing, sitting in the agitation and being with it… Boy is this a challenge. Every time. Sitting with is what I most resist.  Being patient with my process.  Allowing the uncomfortableness to be there without doing anything about it. If we don’t take the time to do this, we actually BLOCK the energetic support that is here for us… universe, flow, consciousness, the field, god, angels, whatever you want to call it… it’s a REAL thing & to truly live in the new way, to truly open up to the intuitive age that is well past knocking on the door & has actually sat down on the couch, we MUST learn to open up to this space.

Yes, we still do our part – take steps towards our passion, our purpose, recognize our fears, step through them AND when we feel ourselves dropping out of the flow, PAUSE to recenter, pause to sit with the sensation of wanting to jump out of our skin. BE with myself and my process. BREATHE. Pause to receive the support that is part of the light that I am.  In essence, create a personal retreat in my daily life – could be 5 minutes, or an hour, could be as simple as sitting down and counting slowly to 10. Once the sensations are not as strong anymore, I turn to gratitude. What is going well? I’m grateful for my healthy body, for the sunrise today, for the beautiful sound of the bugs after it rains, for my coffee, for the many people whose lives I touch and who touch mine…

Then I put into place one thing that I know supports me (and this is so personal for each of us) maybe it’s taking a yoga class, or sitting in nature, or deep belly laughs, or giving my feet a massage, or dancing. A foundational practice that I go back to again and again to recenter. Today I chose a yoga class and the message was so very relevant… PATIENCE. The universe is always sending messages, we always get what we need to grow, to learn, to expand. Question is, are we slowing down enough to listen & integrate? Today yes, I am.